I’ve written a bit about my experience navigating what it means to be masculine, aka being a man. I’ve spent a lot of time doing my damnedest not to be “toxically” masculine over the last few years for fear I would turn out “like him.” My friend recommended thinking about some times I experienced some “positive” masculinity. I’ve been listening to Scott Galloway quite a bit recently. I agree with a lot of his talking points. One of the qualities he thinks men should possess is generosity.

My father doesn’t actually have any brothers, and my mother did have two brothers. If we want to get technical, I had two uncles, but all of my parents’ friends and older relatives are people I grew up calling “uncle.” Once while working a summer job my coworkers and I bumped into two of my uncles and an aunt within an hour. I greeted each of them with “hey uncle/auntie.” After we got out of earshot of the last uncle my coworker told me, “CHRIST. Everyone is your uncle!” Here’s a little episode from the early days about one of my generous uncles.

After my birth parents split it was just me (3ish) and my father couch-hopping with two trash bags full of our belongings for a while. This is when I acquired my blankie. I remember staying with one of my dad’s friends for a few days. Like any gracious host, he set us up with some bedding. I guess I really took to one of the blankets and carried it all over the house. It had a warm side and a cool side. As we were leaving, he made sure I took that blanket with me.

My dad’s friend didn’t have a lot, but he did have a roof that he was willing to share while my dad figured out our next move. He also made sure that a “nephew” would not leave without a small comfort that he could carry with him. That blanket is still in my room to this day.

Men have a lot to work on, but we get it right sometimes.